She says "I feel like I'm fallin' to pieces"

Loves been a long time comin'

25 November
External Services:
  • wizzardess@gmail.com
  • pixxxistik
  • wizzardess@livejournal.com
  • pixxxistik
  • wizzardess@gmail.com
  • diamondicecream
Children Of Bodom Mood Theme by nattfoedd(Who apparently no longer exists)

Being your friend is a lot like playing with fire: if you phuck with it, it'll burn you, but if you just let it go and watch it burn, it'll be beautiful ~ Jon


My friendship disclaimer, because everyone should come with one. To be my friend you must be willing to take a lot of emotional and verbal abuse. You must be willing to yell at me. You must be strong enough to withstand my whirlwind moodswings. You must realise that if I say I hate you, I really mean I love you too much and it scares me. You must shove through all the hurtful words and realise that you have the power to hurt me so I want to hurt you first. You have to be willing to tell me to stfu and tell me you will be my friend until you die. You must also understand that I have issues with thinking people hate me. If you don't talk to me, I'll think you hate me. So, you have to talk to me. Just say what's up every day. I'll be content and secure in our friendship. You must also be willing to undergo a lot of oversharing of my personal life because I refuse to go to a shrink.

And, if you think you can handle this, I promise you will end up with the best friend you've ever had. You will end up with someone who will always be there for you no matter what. Someone who will support you even if you've hurt her. Someone who will stand up for you even if you're wrong. You will end up with someone who will love you and respect you because you made it through all the bullshit and you have proven yourself worthy to be my friend and I will treasure that friendship forever. I have only a handful of friends who've made it through. They are my family and I trust them with my life and I love them with everything I have inside of me. I highly suggest you strive to make it through my bullshit because I will love you and never leave you if you can do it.

Friend Testimonials

You are the White Rabbit to my Alice.
You are the Jo to my Beth.
You are the Patrick to my Kat.
You are the Donkey to my Puss In Boots.
You are the Gustav to my Georg.
You are the Fiona to my Shrek.
You are the Wicked Witch to my Dorothy.
You are the Dorothy to my Cowardly Lion.
You are the Yoshi to my Mario.

'Sup. I'm Jax, Jacki, Jacqueline, J, Jay, Freakgirl, Wizzardess, Diamond, Diamondicecream, Pixxxi, Pixxxistik, and whatever else you really want to call me. I answer to just about anything.

I'm 25(26), you can't make me go older. I have a beautiful (and I really do mean beautiful, I'm not just saying that) son called Aeryk (Eric, I'm weird, don't ask) Kristopher. Aeryk Kristopher R-J (because we can't figure out what his last name should be). ANYWAY. I'm keeping him forever and ever and if you try and take him away (I mean you little girls *judges you* I see you in your little Dora shirts, flippin' your ponytails. Yeah. Back off) I will choke a bitch. :) He reminds me of a vampire most of the time.

I'm creative to the point I have too many ideas and thoughts that I cannot complete a single thing. Most of my fiction is available on diamondicecream. I'm extremely shy, so in group situations I'm generally on my phone playing games or reading. I'm not trying to be rude. I just have no interesting conversation to toss into the mix. Then again, maybe it was the company I was in. I've found I'm an enigma, and I don't quite fit in with anyone/thing/where. I'm okay with this. Are you?

I used to be a tad bit emo, but I still have my days. For the most part, I am happy. I have a problem that seems to hinder my happiness. If I stay in one place for too long, I get bored, restless, and feel like I'm suffocating so I usually decide to move on a whim. If I stay put, I do crazy things like chopping my hair off, although I do that sometimes anyway just because I'm moody.

Even though it's been said I get everything I want (and I do for the most part), it's not conciously done. I just...get it. I'm thankful for my blessings, even if I say I hate this life on a daily basis.

The sooner you learn I'm a walking contradiction, the better friends we'll become. I never really learn from my mistakes, I just try not to do the same thing over. I'm fickle about love and somedays I believe with all of my heart that I have a soulmate out there in another country (because he sure as heck isn't American). Other days, I feel like it's something people have made up because they can't handle being alone and what that means. They can't cope with the fact that they do not need anyone else in this lifetime.

I'm never consistent. On anything. I change my mind faster than you can skip a lame song on an album. I don't know who, exactly, I am, but I know who I'm not, and I do everything in my power not to comprimise that. I refuse to become something I'm not just to please other people, to have (and retain) friends, and to fit in. I am, who I am, whomever that is. I have my own opinions and I make my own choices and regardless of what you think, you will never ever influence that, no matter how many times you try to make me change.


Dislikes: Lies. Hardcore drug use (this does not include the herb known as marijuana). Closed minds. Alcoholics. Milk. Vanilla (the scent, not the flavour). Drama. The Smell of Pepper. Idiotic people who turn things into something they're not. Divas. Fake personalities. Skanks. Ignorance. Scandals. Labels. Stupidity. Smoking (although, I love watching hot people smoke. If you're a hawtie and you smoke, hit me up bb!). Girls Who Smell Like Candy. Sheep (the group of followers, not the animal). Emo!Haircuts. The inability to spot sarcasm.

Loves: The Lies Are Leading Me Astray. Tulips. Stripy Socks/Stockings. Twins. Photography. Intelligence. KNOWLEDGE. Remixes. Covers. Long Hair. Courage. Long Skirts. Readers/Reading. Ke$ha songs. Books. Anita Blake Series/Characters. Tropical Punch Kool-Aid. Vampire Bites. Movies. Interwebz. Kittens. Puppy Breath. Children of Bodom. Apples (green only). Pictures. Converse. Trinkets. Rainbows. Snowflakes. English people. German people. Finnish People. I Twist My Hips.

Addictions: Buying Things. Socks. Boys That Look Like Girls. Girls That Look Like Boys. Movies. Cause I'm Ready To Lose It Lose It. Children of Bodom. Books. Writing. Youtube. Daydreaming. Reading. Dancing (with Aeryk when no one is home). Music. Bracelets. Jay and Silent Bob fanfiction.

Friends: Chelsi, Lauren, Alex, Scarlett, Milou, Tara, Griffin, Rachel, Julie, JonJonJon (officially no longer friends), James, Sara B., Flossa, Catherine, Seraphina, Lyndsaye, Arcon, Teagan ♥, Alex2, Johnny

2008 was awesome, for the following reasons: (I'm leaving this up here because I think that 2008 was the best year almost ever. It rivals 2004 which was THE SUMMER OF ALL SUMMERS

Children of Bodom (19 April). New Kids on the Block (COMPLETE WITH MEET AND GREET!! ON MY BIRTHDAY NO LESS 25 November). Brisingr (book three in the Inheritance Quadrilogy, formerly a trilogy). Blood Noir (book 16 in the Anita Blake series.) The Pheonix Unchained (First book in a new series which is the sequel to The Obsidian Mountain Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory). The Phoenix Endangered (book 2 in the Enduring Flame series). I own my car. Stop In The Name Of Pants (book 9 in the Georgia Nicolson series). I moved back to California, then back to Arizona, New Mexico and now I'm back in Missouri. I am working on owning 500 movies. TOKIO HOTEL (20 August on Chelsi's birthday). I finally went to the beach in California. Obama was elected president. I partied with Marina on several occasions.


2011: Meh.

2012: ENGLAND. GERMANY. TARA. ALEX. CHILDREN OF BODOM TWICE. BRACELET EXCHANGE WITH ALEXI. EMILIE AUTUMN. My Kpop addiction manifested to the point I actually found biases and groups I favour, whereas before I just was like 'meh' and followed whatever showed up on my feed about SHINee. AVENGERS PREMIERE IN HOLLYWOOD. LEARNING KOREAN. KCON AND MEETING NU'EST AND EXO-M AND TEAGAN.

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-- FreakGirl